Mysterious Club Member Gifts

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

'What zip code are we in now?'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

He looks so natural lying there...

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"Play 'Misty' for me."

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Niche Extracurriculars

Dog detectives

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

"Another clear case of COVID19."

'He's been shot!'

Men drinking

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

Recollections of a Retired Butler

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

Pole Vaulting Club

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 1

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

'How did I find you? Let's just say a little bird told me.'

'Mystery egg.'

Late again.

"You're a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch. You'll do well down here."

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."