Murder Mystery Club Member Gifts

Sunday afternoon in the library. The awkward science which comes from not having had a weekend murder to accuse anyone of committing.

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

Niche Extracurriculars

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

"Now calm down Ma'am. If you want to report a murder I'll patch you through to Detective Malone in homicide. This is Sergeant Flanagan....Insecticide!"

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

'Did he say anything before he died?'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

Pole Vaulting Club

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

Actors' dispute.

The Butlers Ball.

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

Potato killed husband and made potato chips.

Hercules Poirot meets Pierrot

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

Late again.

"I'm looking for a good old-fashioned housemaid - the kind that screams when discovering a dead body."

"And so it begins... Now where'd I put my dang glasses..."

"Was the coroner able to establish the cause of death constable?"

'Better call the coroner, Mahoney... I can't tell if this is a homicide or some sicko's idea of romance.'

"I think he must have had a death wish"

'Where were you the opening night of murder mystery dinner theater?'

'He's also been scalped, which suggests to me that the killer may still be in this room.'

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

'Baskerville, that's right: The Hound killed by Sherlock Holmes was one of my ancestors...'

"Of course no one is drinking the wine - it's the Murder Mystery Writers Association."

Frosty Had It Coming, See?

'As President of the Annoying Saying Society, just let me say,,,,,enjoy,'

"I'd like to be on time for school but it makes the day too long!"