Music Manager Antics Gifts

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

'Rock and roll's so middle class nowadays.'

And on facilitation...

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

'Is this the blues section?'

'The doctor is ready to see you, Teddy...Bring your handler!'

'If hired, where do you see yourself with the company in five years?'

"The safest way back into the charts is a dramatic death after a party with girls, booze, and drugs!"

Man at a desk in Performance Review Dept. has a cannon in the 'OUT' box pointing out the window lights cannon.

'If a raise is what you want, Halverson, a raise is what you get!'

"And last but not least, organizational psychologist Ron Haynes, who limits my switching of guitars to at least every other song."

'This guy is recording our singing, but I can't see us getting royalties any time soon...'

"We've got Tom O'Brien on bass, Nick Weber on drums, and Jonah Petchesky on contracts."

'I can't talk now. I'm in the annual meeting.'

'And the largest slice is mine.'

"You gotta admit, they rock PRETTY hard for a group with no arms."

'There's been another management shake-up. The former global sales manager is now head of Europe, and the old head of engineering is now head of purchasing.'

Vegetate.

Janitor at a Music School

"Sorry guys, the labels decided it's time to give up touring."