Band Manager Gifts

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'True - we may just be a garage band. But now we've got a manager and we'll be touring the biggest garages in town.'

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"You gotta admit, they rock PRETTY hard for a group with no arms."

'You idiot! You didn't tell us this gig was for a marching band! '

And on facilitation...

Small crowd

'Okay boys, the single is terrible but if we can make a nasty video for it that gets banned, we got us a No1'

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

'Rock and roll's so middle class nowadays.'

"And last but not least, organizational psychologist Ron Haynes, who limits my switching of guitars to at least every other song."

"If you want feedback from the boss, turn up your volume and stand closer to him."

"Sorry guys, the labels decided it's time to give up touring."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'