Broadcast Manager Gifts

TV scheduler's garbage in and garbage out baskets..

"Apart from cost, new programmes will seriously reduce screening time for repeats..."

First and last day as member of the CRTC.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Direct Marketing...

"It lost a little something in translation."

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

Target your message

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

Mountain Tops Incorporated

King Solomon's Pollster.

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

Advertising on the internet.

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

"People of Earth – can everyone see my screen?"