Radio Station Manager Gifts

Frank & Ernest Signs Painted. Ernie, did you make the name plate for that radio station manager? Here it is --- "Ed Wilson, Air Head." And for the banker in charge of personal identification number? Yes --- "Sue Gray, Pin Head." And the World Boxing League President? "Joe Silver, Knuckle Head." These are terrible, Erine! You're a real bonehead! No, No ... that's the Chief of Orthopedics -- "Dr. Milburn, Bone Head."

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

Two airplanes

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'I work at the airport.'

Easy & Hard Listening Rock Radio.

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

Clive Anderson

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: The Decline And Fall Of Wolfman Quack

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

Social Media

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Glenn Beck?'

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Super delegates. A candidate could win the most votes in the primaries but lose anyway of the superdelegates want someone else! Can you believe that? Oh stop yer sniveling. In my day, the parties chose candidates in smoke-filled backrooms without even pretending the people get a vote. At least this charade gets you out of the house. Gets the blood pumping. I guess.

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

"When you said you were high up in the the music business..."

Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Wondering. In my day, when a body said I wonder why dust bunnies are called dust bunnies, it led to all sorts of delightful speculation. We could while away hours debating whether it was a marketing ploy by big broom ... or whether it dated back to Napoleon, who had a fetish for dirty rabbits. And if we were lucky, opinions could get so heated that fisticuffs would ensue. Wondering is just one of many lovely human experiences utt

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"