Music Manager Gifts

'We're all having to work harder in the music business now.' (Dog stressed as he listens to four gramophones.)

Bombast records 'In' tray and 'Phat' tray

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'Sniff, you moron, sniff!'

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'

'We need a big publicity push, we have to get you in the news, one of you needs to develop a heavy drug problem.'

'The trick is to always leave them wanting more.'

"The safest way back into the charts is a dramatic death after a party with girls, booze, and drugs!"

Bands That Never Made It.

"Bad news. You China Shop tour has been cancelled."

"If you want feedback from the boss, turn up your volume and stand closer to him."

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Where your mind & battle are los

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."