Studio Manager Gifts

Lil's Yoga: Now Hiring All Positions

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

"A glimpse into a cartoon character's dressing room..."

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'Hang on a minute...'

Broadway Moosical.

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

I Pagliacci

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

Performance In The Bedroom

'People are staring at us because they've never seen private box seats at an off broadway theatre before.'