Film Studio Executive Gifts

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"It's a proposal about an idea for a concept."

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'If only every year was an election year.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

"Which part are you reading for?"

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

Must-See Lockdown TV.

Oh no ... Outsourcing

Downsizing.