Studio Head Gifts

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Music producers.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

'Hang on a minute...'

Studio in December

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

'All of my paints dried up in their tubes, so I decided to quit painting and become a sculptor.'

Hollywood Think Tank

Looks like the band and the sound engineer in studio 8 had a difference of opinion again.

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

Recording Studio

God's studio assistants

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

'I'm a mess — will you go see who's at the door?'

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

'Okay,GREAT,that's perfect! Now don't move!'

"Cholesterol medicine commercial, Take 3. This time, try to sound less horrified when you say, 'May cause heart to explode through ears'."

Hollywood Studio - 'We can only pay you $20million for your next film - video piracy is killing the film industry.'

'We're ok for duffel jackets and stiff upper lips sir, but short on Brylcream.'

Hey, who moved my easel?

Adam Duritz

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

'Was the flash too bright?'

'Unfortunately, he's very productive in paintings, not money.'

"No offense, Lou, but you're a money guy, not a movie guy."

'You're supposed to draw something.'

State of the art computing purchases become obsolete in the time it takes to purchase it.