Studio Strategist Gifts

Art by committee

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

Internet Cafe.

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

'Hang on a minute...'

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

'Contested elections for managing partner are always going to cause a bit of upset.'

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'Computer editing software with an obnoxious ego.' 'Look, you really don't want to say that, do you?'

Hollywood Think Tank

After paying the IT consultants we didn't have enough left for proper laptops!

Recording Studio

'Sales are down. We tried to make the latest version, of our best selling software, foolproof. Apparently, someone was making better fools.'

"I know I'm huffing and puffing, but I don't have a temperature. You're safe. Now, let me in."

Videographer. Zoom in. Zoom out.

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

Outer Cuteness vs. Inner Cuteness

'Okay,GREAT,that's perfect! Now don't move!'

'Oh, that's Dan, the congressman's right AND left hand man'

"Going out to play? Get back to the computer and start e.gaming!"

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

Hollywood Studio - 'We can only pay you $20million for your next film - video piracy is killing the film industry.'

"No offense, Lou, but you're a money guy, not a movie guy."

'We're ok for duffel jackets and stiff upper lips sir, but short on Brylcream.'