Staff Strategist Gifts

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

Do your research!

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

Career opportunities

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Uh-Oh..."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.