Workplace Strategist Gifts

'I don't get it...after all the budget cuts to streamline the work force, why aren't we moving faster.'

We can do ANYTHING if we all work TOGETHER.

"Right after me...EVERYONE PULL!"

'Hey, Jensen! Either help push or have the decency to slide off, OK?'

"What choice do we have? I can't fire him. He knows too much."

"Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, Hargraves, but part of me wants to go to lunch."

'I must say, I do like your incentive program.'

'Well, how did he react? Was it that scowling-grunt of no way, or that raised-eyebrows-grunt of just maybe?'

"I know this is just my humble opinion, but it's backed by the most comprehensive rumor, gossip and speculation this office can provide!"

Office Politics Superstore.

'Hey boss...I think I found the bottleneck.'

'I'm going to be sick on Monday. I'm telling you now so I don't have to call in.'

'Do you want a salary or benefits?'

'Most of us keep a pretty low profile around here, and I suggest you do the same!'

I wonder where that's going...(Blame sign).

'Madam Zora's one of our new schemes to future proof the business!'

Effective communication means not only knowing what to say, but when to say it.

"Don't worry. The boss said if we miss the target he's got a backup plan."

Suggestion Box.

'No raise ... he said he wants to test my self motivation skills.'

"It pays to listen to your instincts ??" unless they're maternal."

'The salary is not that great - the real money is when they let you go.'

I have the feeling we are being micromanaged...

Do you think I have a problem delegating?

'Kurtz isn't so bad until you get to know him.'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

Mouse guide through cubicles.

'I was hoping we were on the same page, but I see we're not even in the same book!'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

"Final issue - does anybody have any ideas to improve management/workforce relations?"

'Paying for her legal advice is a waste of money, I mean where's the value?'

'How's my new efficiency expert doing?'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"How do you get along with your boss?" "Great! She never reads what I send her."

'Of course co-operation is key to good business practice Smitters, you co-operate with me and I carry on paying your salary!'