Workplace Strategist Gifts

'I don't get it...after all the budget cuts to streamline the work force, why aren't we moving faster.'

We can do ANYTHING if we all work TOGETHER.

"Right after me...EVERYONE PULL!"

'Hey, Jensen! Either help push or have the decency to slide off, OK?'

"What choice do we have? I can't fire him. He knows too much."

"Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, Hargraves, but part of me wants to go to lunch."

'Well, how did he react? Was it that scowling-grunt of no way, or that raised-eyebrows-grunt of just maybe?'

'I must say, I do like your incentive program.'

"I know this is just my humble opinion, but it's backed by the most comprehensive rumor, gossip and speculation this office can provide!"

Office Politics Superstore.

'Do you want a salary or benefits?'

'I'm going to be sick on Monday. I'm telling you now so I don't have to call in.'

'Most of us keep a pretty low profile around here, and I suggest you do the same!'

I wonder where that's going...(Blame sign).

'Hey boss...I think I found the bottleneck.'

Suggestion Box.

"Don't worry. The boss said if we miss the target he's got a backup plan."

'No raise ... he said he wants to test my self motivation skills.'

'Madam Zora's one of our new schemes to future proof the business!'

Effective communication means not only knowing what to say, but when to say it.

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

'Kurtz isn't so bad until you get to know him.'

"It pays to listen to your instincts ??" unless they're maternal."

'The salary is not that great - the real money is when they let you go.'

Mouse guide through cubicles.

'I was hoping we were on the same page, but I see we're not even in the same book!'

I have the feeling we are being micromanaged...

Do you think I have a problem delegating?

"How do you get along with your boss?" "Great! She never reads what I send her."

'He acts as if he thinks abusing his power is part of his annual bonus.'

'He takes a classic approach to managing risk by letting everyone else take the blame.'

'I've told you before, Warner. You're not allowed to spend the entire day complaining until you make partner.'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'Whoever's left standing get to be VP of Public Relations.'

"Final issue - does anybody have any ideas to improve management/workforce relations?"