Job Strategist Gifts

Something tells me his current firm aren't going to be happy to let him go!

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Do you have any other skills?

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

Senior Partner works at a desk, sign on wall behind her says 'Ms. Davis senior partner - formerly: 'Hey You'.

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'You are a self-starter... problem is, you never finish anything.'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

'Thanks for the promotion offer but I was hoping to sleep my way to the top..'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'I must say, I do like your incentive program.'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"I have good news and bad news, Tom. The good news is good for me. The bad news is bad for you."

"HR think we need to look again at your recruitment strategy."

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

Resume Dumpers

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."