Job Hunting Strategist Gifts

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

Try us again sometime...you never can tell when we might be desperate.

Sat-Navvy

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Good Luck!

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

How are you at decision making?

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."