Staff Strategist Pillows

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Do your research!

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Career opportunities

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"How was work?"

"Uh-Oh..."

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."