Music Executive Gifts

"We've got Tom O'Brien on bass, Nick Weber on drums, and Jonah Petchesky on contracts."

Simon Cowell.

"A reunion tour sounds good. Assuming we can afford the extra bus to haul your medication."

"The board is in agreement, then - rock and roll will never die."

"We're done - there's nothing left in the world to bastardize."

The decline and fall of the recording industry.

"Ah, here's some good news, Mr. Gormley. It seems you've been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame."

Swifted

Collussus Records. You say your music is influenced by Lawrence Welk and hip hop. What do you call it? "Bubble Rap"!

A+R office, "Sorry kid you're too middle of the road"

Hot Little Demo Disc

'This guy is recording our singing, but I can't see us getting royalties any time soon...'

Platinum Baby Shark

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

Newspaper suicide.

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

Music producers.

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

'Hang on a minute...'

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

Charlie Beck Loves Austin Beutner

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

"You're looking at the next Bob Dylan."

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."