Music Industry Executive Gifts

'CD's' on the rollercoaster of money.

You don't have to be tone deaf to work here but it helps.

'Hey Harry, let me run this past you: Rock Revisionism...'

The Artist Share of the Golden Goose Internet

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

This next number is when we smash our guitars...

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

"California has always been too big for its britches."

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"Look, babe. At this point, you've reinvented yourself so many times you're back to who you were at the start."

'The music business.'

"Hey, this is brilliant! Where do you get my ideas?"

Godzilla vs. The Angry Movie Executives

Movie Franchise

'Your album is now the number one donation to charity shops.'

"The role is subtly nuanced and the person we choose has to bring a sense of 'lots of money for the producers' to the part."

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

Rescuing the Music Industry.

'It's a new reality show call 'Detoxing with the Stars'...'

'No, the nude scene isn't essential to the plot, but we need it for the posters.'

Miss T-T

'...and, this morning - you've got the blues.'

Hollywood on Strike