Music Industry Professionals Gifts

'Yes, we've found a way to make teenagers pay for music on the Internet. Unfortunately, it also kills them.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'The Final Merger'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

'And who are you wearing?'

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

This next number is when we smash our guitars...

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

Trump commissions song

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

"Remember, Kimberly, I'm more than your agent. I'm your mother."

'The music business.'

"Your case has been turned down by Oprah, but we're appealing to Sally Jessy Raphael."

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"