Music Business Strategist Gifts

Record Label Bird

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

George Martin

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Garage Music

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

"When you said you were high up in the the music business..."

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

'The music business.'

"Can you perform under pressure?"

If John Lennon had gone into strategic management.

'You look and sound like a real pro.'

Rescuing the Music Industry.

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

"Music has doubled my income..."

Simon Cowell

Liz Ripple All-Girl band - an equal opportunity employer.

'We need to slow down and take our time getting into our hurry up offense.'

"The safest way back into the charts is a dramatic death after a party with girls, booze, and drugs!"

Miss T-T

'Our new director is also a choir director. He will lead us in singing our company fight song.'

Businessman sits below a chart showing falling music sales in notes.

'This guy is recording our singing, but I can't see us getting royalties any time soon...'

"We've got Tom O'Brien on bass, Nick Weber on drums, and Jonah Petchesky on contracts."

"You gotta admit, they rock PRETTY hard for a group with no arms."

The Artist Share of the Golden Goose Internet

"They don't care what Folkways is paying. They won't play after the moon sets."

"And now, our newest hit song..."

Dido

Tin Pan Alley - There May Be Trouble Ahead

Blues Music in a Litigious World