Music Marketers Gifts

CD shop full of manufactured pop,

'How fast can you hype?'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"You're looking at the next Bob Dylan."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Sportswasher's

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Garage Music

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

"As an expert in loyalty, Fido will create an emotional bond with each customer."

'I think we've done it, Igor! This will be the hot new sports drink of the summer!'

'Slugger' Sims...Leader in: Home Runs, RBIs, Endorsement Deals.

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

Sports Sponsorship "What do you mean he lost?"

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

It turns out people aren't buying our product because it's stupid.

'The music business.'

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

'So how did Hakeem take it when you told him we'd be paying him in footwear instead of cash this year, for being our spokesman?'