Music Boss Gifts

Simon Cowell.

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"That is an outrageous slur."

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Piano Keyboard

Yo! Emmett Kelly raps! (with ringmaster flash)

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

George Martin

Language purists bring correctness to a whole new level, forcing a name change for Ireland's most famous band.

Doggy conductor

Stabbing an opera singer to hit the high notes.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Earnest's invite had lied about there being a live band"

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

Car with enormous speakers, "I said, I love the speakers!"

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Garage Music

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"Wow! - That's bland, derivative and sooo dull..! It's gonna make us millions!"

'Reports of my abstinence have been slightly exaggerated. . . I read somewhere that smoking and drinking are bad for you. . . so I gave up reading.'

"When you said you were high up in the the music business..."

"I just sold my entire back catalogue of songs for $185 million."

McCartney art exhibition: 'The only reason they gave him the show is because he's got a famous daughter'

Bell Hop

"Son, I've asked Mr. Puffer to instruct you on the finer points of classical as your new tooter."

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

'The music business.'

"Can you perform under pressure?"