Moving To A Retirement Village Gifts

Still Alive

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Allotment

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

Country Bumpkin.

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'It's 'baa baa' here and 'baa baa' there, until I'm just about nuts.'

'How very Cumbria.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

Walkers

Senior Jeopardy!

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

Thatched roof car.

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!'

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"We should get out to the country more often."

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Holiday cottage

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."