Moving To Senior Living Gifts

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Dog on man's stair lift

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

Handle With Care

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

Senior Jeopardy!

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

'Come die with me.'

Old Frogs' Home

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"He thinks it's the weather channel."

Tired Woods

James Bond: Senior Years.

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'