Moving To A Retirement Home Gifts

"He used to own a muscle car."

"Would you like to make a contribution to the old folks home?" "Sure, when can I bring him in?"

"Mr. Wilson when I said to treat 'Restview' like your own home that didn't include selling it."

'I'm really looking forward to being put in a nursing home...'

'Sorry dear, I can't take you to the toilet until you've sold your house.'

"I'm getting the hang of this wake up every morning, and do basically the same thing with different complaints until I die."

'Thinking back though, I'd have to say we all had a bloody good financial crisis.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"I hate it when I walk into a room and forget why I went in there. Especially when it's the bathroom."

'Mr. Reaper was just saying people our age are quite accident prone.'

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"Marge, start packing. We're moving up the road to 'Coming-Out-Of Retirement Village'."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

'Uh oh. Cougar alert.'

'Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. . .'

Ambushing death

"Baldo, do you know where this flyer came from?"

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

Werewolf Memories

'Getting him the penthouse at least means that we have a window of opportunity.'

'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!'

Home for the elderly

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

'Come die with me.'

Remembering His Marbles

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

The Old Elves Home

"A 12 month tour of the USA costs us less than staying at home for a year."

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

"They don't have the secrets to anything - they're just old."