Moving To Senior Living Pillows

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Dog on man's stair lift

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

Senior Jeopardy!

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

'Come die with me.'

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'