Movie Star Fan Gifts

"I don't care how good he is. I want a handsome lawyer, like the ones I see in the movies!"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Reese Witherspoon

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Hooray for Bollywood!

George Clooney Machine

Before Cordless Light Sabers

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

'Say, are you in the mood for a Spielberg?'

'I don't know about you, Clyde, but I'm getting a mighty uneasy feeling we could be riding straight into an ambush interview!'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you?"

John Stride

Hollywood or bust!

'No sequel? No movie version? Just read me the big money makers like 'Harry Potter'.'

Renee Zellweger as Judy Garland

'It's a horror-comedy.'

"It's not Kansas, Totem, but I can settle for it."

Viggo Mortensen

Sylvester Stallone