Movie Fan Gifts

The Polite Inquirer

Pinocchio auditions for a boyband.

"Let me remind you that you have the right to remain silent."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Herman Mankiewicz

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'He likes to power nap.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"Werewolves of London..."

"I'm the bad guy..."

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!