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Dr. Strangelove, D.D.S.

The Polite Inquirer

Pinocchio auditions for a boyband.

"Let me remind you that you have the right to remain silent."

Cameron Diaz

'No sequel? No movie version? Just read me the big money makers like 'Harry Potter'.'

"Are you sure this is one of David Attenborough's environment docos?"

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Herman Mankiewicz

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'He likes to power nap.'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"It turns out that if you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, eventually they'll turn out the work of Tarantino."

Getting to Know You

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"Werewolves of London..."

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

What's an Imax cave?

"I'm the bad guy..."

Reese Witherspoon

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"