Movie Star Aficionado Gifts

F&E Celebrity Investment Counselors. Our clients have been very satisified with the work we've done for them recently. We got the pop star into some great stocks for a song! As anticipated, the TV psychic is doing well in the futures market. And the silent partnership meets the mime's investment criteria. Of all our clients, the vain movie star is the easiest to please. Like everybody else, he wants to make money. Yeah, but he's also happy when he loses his shirt!

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

Kritik's Korner

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Canadian film production

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Moby Dick

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Little Red Riding Carpet

Jimmy Cagney.

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Movies vs. Films

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Hooray for Bollywood!

Film Star Robert de Niro

George Clooney Machine