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Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

Canadian film production

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Moby Dick

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Little Red Riding Carpet

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Hooray for Bollywood!

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."