Bollywood Aficionado Gifts

Hooray for Bollywood!

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

Silence of the Chickens...

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Bloody hell!"

Kritik's Korner

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Scuba cow"

"I said slime."

"Not now, Oliver."

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."