Mountaintop Munchies Gifts

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

"Nah, dude, I'm Tokey Bear. Smokey's on vacation. Hey you got any snacks?"

"Sometime, maybe we could run down to Lhasa for some SPICED gruel, huh?"

'That's the best advice you got? There's no business like show business?'

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

Snacks

'Hello?...still there?...yeah, sorry, I just had to move to get a better signal.'

'This looks like a good spot to catch up on our email.'

"Do you have a strain that pairs well with Chunky Monkey?"

'Nobody's looking -- how about a third-eye opener?'

Doomed Food Group

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'With this extreme turbulence, the meals really are in flight.'

"Did you order the, eye of newt and bat's wing topping?"

"Burton, Fenton and Hacwood. Sorry, Mr. Hackwood is away, taking a 'gap' year on top of a mountain."

"Change is good, especially in others."

'Man, I've been spending too much time up here...'

'Just once, I'd like to be reincarnated somewhere BELOW ten thousand feet!'

'Hole it, Goopta - the Grand Lama just raised the retirement age again.'

'Move over, buster -- affirmative action!'

'If you were truly enlightened, you wouldn't CARE whether my nose whistles or not!'

'Darn! - Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

"I keep thinking about last night's salmon en croûte."

'Never catch snowflakes on your tongue while the birds are flying!'

'If I ever get my hands on that stupid career counselor....'

Monster eating furniture,

"If the universe wanted us to be productive it wouldn't have given us social media."