Mountain Top Muse Gifts

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

It must be December again -- I just had a vision of sugarplums.

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

"Write your acceptance speech before winning the award."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"But am I happy? Very."

"Sometime, maybe we could run down to Lhasa for some SPICED gruel, huh?"

"This year we'll focus on the road, next year we can focus on building the highrise on the mountain."

Rock Climber and Angel Selfie

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'That's the best advice you got? There's no business like show business?'

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'

'Hello?...still there?...yeah, sorry, I just had to move to get a better signal.'

"Oh great!...He;s a fitness guru!!"

'Are you SURE we're not allowed to telecommute?'

'The secret to happiness is to stay away from low-lying coastal areas which are most susceptible to storms from global warming.'

"Thirty-seven years up here and my ears STILL pop!"