Mountaintop Philosopher Gifts

'Just remember never to sell before the boom, or buy before the bust.'

Guru balancing on a skateboard ontop a mountain

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

"Change is good, especially in others."

'Move over, buster -- affirmative action!'

'Just once, I'd like to be reincarnated somewhere BELOW ten thousand feet!'

'Man, I've been spending too much time up here...'

'If I ever get my hands on that stupid career counselor....'

'What do you mean, you hear a burglar downstairs?'

"Ow! - I've got something in my third eye!"

"If the universe wanted us to be productive it wouldn't have given us social media."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

"Sometime, maybe we could run down to Lhasa for some SPICED gruel, huh?"

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

'That's the point - We're SUPPOSED to be out of the loop!'

'That's the best advice you got? There's no business like show business?'

'This looks like a good spot to catch up on our email.'

'I'd give anything to be able to sit down.'

'A wise hermit? ME?? Ribbish!! I sprained my darn ankle by climbing up here and now I can't get down anymore!'

"Thirty-seven years up here and my ears STILL pop!"

'Nobody's looking -- how about a third-eye opener?'

'The secret to happiness is to stay away from low-lying coastal areas which are most susceptible to storms from global warming.'

If life is a river, what are we doing up here on top of the mountain?

You B*****D

'Nothing against you, Dad, but I'd rather be a POLITICAL pundit.'