Tree Top Philosopher Gifts

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'Remember, we're planting a tree, not burying a bone.'

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

The Cactus Reader

Ozone layer claims another victim.

"That could've been ours. But noooo...You and your DIY."

Camouflage Unit

Saguaro Cacti.

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"So....are we, like, dating now? Or what?"

"My mum's favourite recipes are: birch with mayonnaise, oak with tomato sauce, hazel with Dijon mustard, beech with salt and pepper and pine with soy sauce..."

The ethics professor weeding his garden.

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

Welcome to Kew Gardens

'You wouldn't listen to me. You have to buy the biggest tree in the lot!'

'It's very nice, dear, but it's still not as lovely as a tree.'

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

'Yes, this is the most direct offsetting of carbon emissions I've seen.'

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

"Every year, the zebras get faster and faster."

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

Changing house name.

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

"Trust your instinct son, not the rubbish spewed on Social Media..."

"Very few leave the grove!"

Man talking to a tree.