Forest Thinker Gifts

"So much for that publicity stunt."

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

A man rakes a tree

'It's a bold initiative but I don't think it's right for the staff kitchen.'

"Sorry, Rudolph, but the production on electric reindeers and their batteries gives work to thousands of children while you destroy the climate with your farts."

'Have you done something to your air? You look different?'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

Climate Change -- You are here.

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

A globe detaches itself from its stand and falls into a rubbish bin in the offices of the (fictional) Institute of Environmental Forecasting

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."

'We are an environmentally sensitive organization. We will have to do a background check on the size of your carbon footprint before we can make an offer of employment.'

'An aerosol? Are you sure you've thought this through?'

'Look on the bright side: now we qualify for an energy-conservation award.'

'It's only now that we've chopped down all of the trees that we can see the damage we've done'

The Ship of Fools. The earth as a ship, heading for destruction as people party, oblivious to the danger

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

'Is it me, Fiona, or the hole in the ozone?'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. Sorry."

Christmas tree exchange