Forest Philosopher Gifts

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

"It's okay...It just thinks it has Dutch Elm Disease!"

"What about you? Would you rather leave a stump or be mulched and scattered?"

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

'I'd give anything to be able to sit down.'

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

"Now, nobody fall while I'm gone because I won't hear it."

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

You B*****D

"Being deciduous isn't a choice - it's what I am."

"Just between you and me...when a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, it still makes a sound."

'Do you believe in life after 'timber'?'

'I just hiked over a mile with that bear while debating the use of nuclear energy. I told you these animals are used to people.'

"So is this the fun part, or will there be even bigger bugs sticking to my face soon?"

If a tree falls in the forest...(Annual Field Trip - Society for the Deaf and Mute).

He starts a lot of projects but doesn't finish them.

"Trees get hollowed out, keel over and die … just like people."

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

Winter Weather.

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

'Where's the elephant cemetery? It's a secret, and anyway, you'd be the last person I'd tell!'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

The Farmer Sutra.

"I think the scientists want us to realize our world is warming and do something before future generations can't live here anymore, but it's tough to focus when cheese is so good."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

A businessman sits with an executive toy of smokestacks.

The Procrastinator

Biofuel - a solution or...?