Wilderness Philosopher Gifts

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Support Group for a Good Problem

Sausages.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

Sport Utility Boot.

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

Winter Weather.

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

Desert Island Mishap

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

"How's the salmon?"

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'