Mountain Philosopher Gifts

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

'Now, the first thing is for you to extinguish your ego.' 'What? -- little old me?'

'If suffering is good for the soul, why the cushion?'

'The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions.'

'Nothing against you, Dad, but I'd rather be a POLITICAL pundit.'

'You lifted your head.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

Winter Weather.

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

The Farmer Sutra.

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

'It's no use. Even the mountains remind me of the office.'

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

'I became a bit claustrophobic living in a warren all the time: I prefer camping out now...'

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

Caution - Poet at work

No crawling sign in the desert.

"Storm’s comin’, Clara. Better get my absentee ballot in."

'That's the point - We're SUPPOSED to be out of the loop!'

"By the way, some of us have begun to feel that 'Because it's there' is not reason enough."

Thinker ponders milking stool.

'I'd give anything to be able to sit down.'

Desert Island Gossipping