Mountain Resorts Gifts

The Old Woman in the shoe questions her decision to spend her empty-nest years in a condo at a ski resort.'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Club Antisocial

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Snowmobull

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Lounging by the pool

Ski lift mobile

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"We were thinking about the Himalayas this summer. On the other hand, there's something very special about Montauk."

Climbing with the baby

Waiting for the snow to arrive in Aviemore.

Run from the hills!

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

"Humans are crazy! Like life is not hard enough in winter, they have to make artificial snow!"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

My broker went to Antigua ... I had to settle for Coney Island.

Skier.

"It's as beautiful as the poster, except, of course, no more cows."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

'Now that's what I call a rescue dog.'

Alpine Pipe

"First thing, Toby—just bend your knees a little and get rid of the cigarette."

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

Health organizations doubt the benefits of skiing holidays.

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

Welcome to the Adirondacks.

Watch out For Falling Skiers.

'Alright then, I'll admit it... we might be lost!'