Mortgage Marathoner Gifts

Man weighed down by mortgage.

The home mortgage 100 metre dash.

Storm in the out tray

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

Surfing the daily stress

'Your shoe's untied.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Go! Means NOW!

American Idle.

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

"I told him he should have trained more."

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

401K

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Celebrating Labor Day assumes you've labored at least one day during the previous year."

Birthday To-Do List

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

Inactive wear store.

'It's the perfect time to move up the evolutionary ladder! The climate is stable, we have no natural predators, and interest rates may never be this low again!'

"Let's see what's going on in the world."