Mortgage Juggler Gifts

'And to my trusted banker, who made me what I am today, I leave my million dollar home and it's two million dollar mortgage.'

'The mortgage I can handle, but I also have an adjustable-rate wife.'

'We're looking to borrow a deposit, a month's rent, and a month's rent in advance.'

'I need a loan to pay for a gun to rob a securicor van to pay for my mortgage'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

"I managed to find a healthy work-life balance, but now there's a problem with my bank balance."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

Fries and kids

'Wait a minute....!

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

The stock market sky is falling.

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

Money mangagement see-saw.

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

"Beats me how I managed before getting a financial support animal."

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

'Of course I have unpaid loans, what other kind is there?'

"Sorry, but no. I can't lend you a student to help clean up your yard."

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

Washing Up Liquidity.

'And will you take this man to the cleaners....'