Mortgage Meltdown Survivor Gifts

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

"Here, we realized it was not some awful fever dream."

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

Repossessions

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

'Look at my new overdraft its fantastic.'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

'I'm working on a ten year degree. Four years in school, and six years to pay off my student loans.'

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'

'Our cries of Armageddon were completely ignored, so let's just keep throwing money at the economy.'

'This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up.'

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'

Coming out of the crisis

'Read an investment book that changed my life...please help.'

'That concludes the list of students with outstanding grades. And now for those of you with outstanding student loan payments...'

New Power Shower.

'There will be no more pocket money kids. Dad bank has gone in to liquidation.'

College tuition fees.

'As soon as you pay back the money, you can go ahead and stop worrying about worldly matters.'

Home Owners.

'We've got to think about our lending policy for small businesses... Like my tailor!'

'What a difference one year makes. I managed to go from entrepreneur to nontrepreneur.'

'Can you let me have five till Obama bails us all out, sir?'

"This place looks a bit run down."