Mortgage Survivor Gifts

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Student Debt

You're fortunate you have a cubicle. Due to cutbacks, my boss makes us wear horse blinders.

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

'Trevor, it's some gentlemen to see you about your student loan.'

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'Look at my new overdraft its fantastic.'

Life plan

The sixth college sense. 'I see debt people.'

'I'm working on a ten year degree. Four years in school, and six years to pay off my student loans.'

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'

'That concludes the list of students with outstanding grades. And now for those of you with outstanding student loan payments...'

'You want some protection money? Oh, thank God. For a moment there I thought you were from the Inland Revenue.'

"It's a rags to riches story. He started with $80,000 in student loan debt, and now he has a job and moved out of his parent's basement."

'I'm afraid I can't prescribe anti-depressants for housing gloom.'

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

"Oh, they sent me to the best obedience school...now I have to dig my bones to pay the loans."

"Thar someone from the IRS blows!"

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

'Student debt??? You ought to see my campaign debt!'

"Technically, I don't think you can claim to have saved your husband's life on several occasions just because you haven't killed him!"

College tuition fees.

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

"We spent a lot of money educating him so..."