Morning Monster Gifts

He awoke,regretting having installed a wrong side of the bed.

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Future garbage truck driver.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Full English Breakfast.

Broken Alarm Clock.

I hate monday mornings.

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

You have the worst spring breath.

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

Business man sees himself as a shark

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'Goodbye, dear. This is the kind of day that makes you feel glad to be alive.'

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

Sleepwalking to work.

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'I'm here for your coffee.'

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

Munch Master.

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

How to Rise with the Sun

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

"Go back to sleep? Sleep at the office?"

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

"Awake and doing great"

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.