Morning Zombie Gifts

Sleepwalking to work.

"Switch me on please..."

'He LIVES! -- The monster LIVES!'

'I'm here for your coffee.'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Zombie standup

Dead Funny

Night of the Zombonies.

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Zombies.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Bird Tweet.

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

Alarmistclock

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

Zombie Problems

Business man sees himself as a shark

'The whole office is slack-jawed and drooling! It's either a zombie invasion or that smooth jazz you play on the intercom.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Earnest's invite had lied about there being a live band"

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

"It's time to wake up!"

A typical Monday. Zombie truck driving maniacs! South Pole penguin love! That's a stupid eco-friendly chick documentary! Insipid, mindless, violent, zombie crud! Negotiations commence, nearly a week before date night. Wimp! Blockbuster head!

Born of the Dead

The Zombie Awakes...

'Ooooo...I ate it too fast. Brain freeze.'

'I'm not saying I won't eat left-brained people's brains, but I prefer right.'

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"