Zombies Gifts

Night of the living will

Bored at the City Morgue.

Employment office: Zombies for hire.

"This may come as a shock to you, but I'm not particularly worried about a zombie apocalypse!"

"Okay, is it a real zombie or nitrogen narcosis?!"

Primer for Zombie Kids

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

'Now I want you all to put your thinking caps on...'

'Things have been a lot better around here since we just started feeding them.'

A woman watches hands come out of the washing machine.

'The whole office is slack-jawed and drooling! It's either a zombie invasion or that smooth jazz you play on the intercom.'

Walking Dyed

"No physical is required."

'Run for your like! That's no ordinary flesh eating zombie! That's my ex-wife.'

A family cowers in fear as their chicken dinner gets up and walks around.

'Guess who.'

'Aw, mom, really? Brains again?'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Earnest's invite had lied about there being a live band"

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

'No, Igor, not Phillips head...Flat head! Flat head! Bring me the flat head!'

Zombie Problems

"One senior and one undead."

"You know, if we didn't walk this way we might get close enough to eat someone."

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

"I contemplate Zombie number seventeen."

The zombies were halfway across the living room when they noticed that 'Friends' was on.

"Back in 15 min."

“Sorry, we don’t accept the living dead.”

"You have a small piece of brain stuck in your teeth."

"Honey, it's either the cast of 'The Walking Dead' stopping by or... your parents."

Pranking Zombies

Heard you died

Zombie standup

The Walking Fred

Zombie stand up