Zombie Enthusiast Gifts

Employment office: Zombies for hire.

"Correction. It's not a zombie apocalypse. They're simply adjusting to daylight savings time."

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

"This may come as a shock to you, but I'm not particularly worried about a zombie apocalypse!"

Check zombies.

'Now I want you all to put your thinking caps on...'

Primer for Zombie Kids

"Okay, is it a real zombie or nitrogen narcosis?!"

'That's a no-brainer, Tom.'

'No, that's not his scary Halloween zombie costume, that's his scary ICD-10 rollout look.'

A woman watches hands come out of the washing machine.

The Life Challenged Zombies.

'Okay, so I knew he was a Zombie when I married him, but all I'm asking, is that he uses a little mouth wash before kissing me!'

"I'm putting you on the 'Zombie Diet'. It's a no-brainer."

'Things have been a lot better around here since we just started feeding them.'

Walking Dyed

'But on a positive note, my brain should be safe during a zombie apocalypse.'

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

"No physical is required."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Earnest's invite had lied about there being a live band"

'I don't feel like brains tonight...let's grab a pizza!'

"I'm not sure if your credit life insurance will pay off or not."

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

Night of the Living Dentists

'Honestly, dear, brains again?'

'Aw, mom, really? Brains again?'

Day of the Living Quarterly Report Accountants.

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

"I feel like I'm persecting."

"You know, if we didn't walk this way we might get close enough to eat someone."

"I contemplate Zombie number seventeen."

The zombies were halfway across the living room when they noticed that 'Friends' was on.

"Honey, it's either the cast of 'The Walking Dead' stopping by or... your parents."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"Someone’s happy to see you."