Morning Zombie Adventurer Gifts

'She's tired??? Does she have any idea how exhausting it is jumping on her head every morning at 3 AM?'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Zombie standup

Late night teddy reading

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Dead Funny

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Zombies.

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Check zombies.

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

Zombie pet tricks.

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

Zombie Problems

Monster Baseball

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Earnest's invite had lied about there being a live band"

Born of the Dead

'I'm not saying I won't eat left-brained people's brains, but I prefer right.'

"I've got the creepiest costume for Halloween! It's an alien-like creature with hypnotic powers...that'll suck your brains out and turn you into a mindless zombie!"

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

Pinata Zombies

The Zombie Awakes...

'We can always hope he's a zombie.'

Sleepwalking to work.

The Walking TED Talk.

Pranking Zombies